3 awesome reasons for escalating tensions with Russia:
1) After 10 years of “war on terrorism”, we are so bored with the Muslims-propaganda, and we simply need a new enemy to spice it up … just like a new reality show.
2) We are the police of the world, so obviously we have to do this. Duh!
3) We have eradicated poverty, inequality and the national debt, resulting in booming prosperity for all Americans. So let’s spread some democracy and freedom loaded up on some missiles!